This Week in the News

Apparently human beings are still evolving. Which shocks the shit out of me. I thought we pretty much hit the zenith of evolution with the invention of the snuggie and we were just in a free fall that includes things like reality television, youtube, and also the Snuggie. Up until this point in history it has been “survival of the fittest”. The strong and able-bodied tended to have the highest reproductive rate. It was often necessary to have 17 children because 14 of those children were likely going to die from things like getting kicked by a horse or infections from a splinter. Nobody knew what the hell was going on concerning medicine. I had a great great Uncle who was killed by a stick of dynamite. Ever hear of anybody getting killed by a stick of dynamite lately? Nope. Not a very good time to be alive, pre 1990’s, but evolutionarily speaking it was good for humanity. We’ve come a very long way from the good old days, when you could accuse your neighbor of witch craft and have them killed if you wanted to steal their land and/or spouse. Unfortunately witchcraft isn’t a reasonable excuse any longer, and advances in medical technology are allowing those among us who make a lot of bad decisions to stay alive long enough to reproduce. Or maybe I'm just turning into a crotchety old man 3 blog posts away from screaming at kids to get off my lawn.



The cops in Texas were ticketing people who could not speak English.

"I was surprised and stunned that that would happen, particularly in the city of Dallas," Kunkle said.

Really Officer Kunkle? Because it's seems to me that is exactly something that would happen, particularly in the city of Dallas. I don't think anyone exactly fell out of their chairs in shock after hearing the news. In fact the first thing I thought after reading the news headline was "Yeah that makes sense." Far be it from me to dictate what language people speak. People coming to the United States in search of a better life have my sympathy becaus I agree with them, America is a pretty damn happenin place to be, so if it takes you a couple years to catch on to the phrase "Where is McDonalds" I'm okay with that, as long as the first words the people learn how to speak are the words to the Pledge of Allegiance. On the other hand I appreciate these cops are busting their ass all day and putting themselves in danger for the safety of their communities. Approaching a car you just pulled over can be stressful. The driver might be normal or the driver might have a gun in his lap. After meeting 10 or 20 people who keep saying "Que? Que? Que?" when you try to explain to them they were driving in the wrong direction on an on ramp I would be prone to writing a few tickets too. Therefore I support your right to live in this country without speaking English. I also support the right for cops to give you a ticket for the exact same reason. I love you America.

So you want to be a pot critic? Me neither, but I guess this is some sort of job they are hiring for (as though stoners ever get jobs). There has been a lot of hullabaloo about the legalization of marijuana for medicinal purposes lately and the recent recession has spurred this conversation on for the supposed benefits; increased tax dollars, raising the quality of life for terminally ill patients, and "Zeplin sounds, like, sooooo much better dude." Fair enough. I prefer a few beer myself, seeing as how nothing can go wrong with that, but I understand the argument of legalization. Pot to me is like college fraternities. I see the point, I understand the benefits, but everyone involved with it seems like a douchebag.